Money can be a touchy subject, but it’s important that couples are able to have constructive conversations about financial goals. We hear from investors all the time who struggle to get on the same page as their spouse. In fact, this is an issue Natali and I encountered early on in our marriage.
Let's be honest: money is a huge pain point for many people! I've discussed before that I'd been engrained with limiting beliefs about money, and I don't think that's rare. Many of us hold some sort of fear about money. Even if these fears aren't rational, they can feel very real! And when those fears are threatened, they can explode into a plethora of emotions.
Early in our marriage, we would often disagree about finances and have unproductive conversations. It’s very common for what should be a reasonable discussion to explode into a fight. We're not perfect, but over the years we've made a lot of progress. We’ve put together four tips you can use to avoid fighting with your partner about money:
Recognize your own fears and limiting beliefs about money. Most of us have these, but overcoming them requires introspection. Consider your fears, and where they stem from. Realize that most of our fears never become a reality.
Consider your partner’s fears. Once you understand their background, and the things that trigger their fears, you can start being more careful. If you know your spouse is fearful of lack, you can do your best to not feed those fears.
Also, know your numbers. Think about your Freedom Number, and calculate your net worth. If you understand your goals and where you’re headed, you’ll be more centered in reality.
Our last tip is to make and trust your plan. You both need to be the same page, but if your plan is based on shared values, you can move in the right direction intentionally.
Using these four tips has helped me have more productive, positive conversations about finances, and I hope they can do the same for you!